11.10.10

The past few weeks have been really over whelming and cause for much anxiety. Other than the normal stresses of life: money, work, and family. We have had the stress of dealing with my husband’s mother, who had a heart attack which resulted in a quadruple by-pass plus a stint. So my husband, who is an only child, was with her in the hospital and when she was brought home (a week later). Leaving me and my son home basically alone all week, now I am not complaining because I know if the roles were reversed I would have been doing the same thing. This all happened last week, right at the planning stages for my son’s first birthday.

Now I could go off on a tangent, and vent all of my feelings and I probably should because I have A LOT built up. But…I know that I can’t because I don’t want to hurt feelings or make people feel like any of it is their fault. I am full of anxiety over my life; certain things that are happening now are just increasing it. I have been on the verge of tears for weeks, trying to hold it together. The stress of everything is just becoming over whelming. Is it just normal this time of year? Time change? Holidays? I don’t know.

But even though I am feeling this way I just keep on trucking…I have a first birthday to plan. I need to keep a smile on my face and keep moving forward. As much as I want to curl in a ball and lock myself in my room, I can’t. I am a mother and a wife; those duties don’t get vacation time, or sick time. So I need to go to the grocery store and get the last few things, and tonight I am going to have to start prepping, because if you have read earlier blogs, Saturday is going to be consumed with decorating cup cakes.

On to the plans, we are having my son baptized in the morning, he will have time for a nap (hopefully) and then a birthday party that afternoon. Because it starts at 2, I am not planning on serving real food, just appetizers and snacks. That should be ok, right? I wouldn’t assume I was being feed a meal if I went to a party at 2. The sad thing is that there are people that are invited that probably would assume we will be feeding them a meal. But that is just how those people are. I was also hoping that since the party is on a Sunday afternoon some people wouldn’t make it, we don’t really live close to anyone. But to my surprise, everyone is coming, so let us pray for a nice day so people (at least the kids) can go out side. I don’t have any other plans to keep kids entertained so fingers crossed.
Well time for another deep breathe and move on.